i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i think i have herpe
just one?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
