Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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