If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize