smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
