This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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