okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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