They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
