I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
