I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so let's talk penis.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
