It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
