Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
oh god was she eating orange peels again
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
