just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
