Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
