It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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