i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
