After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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