After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
do herpes really smell.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
