sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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