i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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