Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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