The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
