i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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