They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I enjoy the company of your penis
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
