And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
