this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize