areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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