Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
