Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
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I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
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You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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