sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
