Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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