The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
