Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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