Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
