My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
