all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I love you.
Bad choice
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
