You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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