i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.