and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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