direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
