drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
