Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize