there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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