Christians are straight up FREAKS
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
