I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
