I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My feet surprised me
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