I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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