But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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