that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
