it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
