You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
