She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
