we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
