I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
