I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
