you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
