if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
