the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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