...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
