i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
