I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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