U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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