He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
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She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
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