When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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