I need help removing her.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
