Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
