Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
