At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
