either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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